As we come full circle, I bring up the question of honesty. And it was surprising that at different times, in different locations and frame of minds, both mother and daughter shared the same unexpected perspective.
Samita:
“I’ll tell you one thing. You’re just human, and everybody’s different, all humans are not the same. So if you think that OK I’m honest and so you think everyone’s going to accept your honesty and understand your honesty, it’s not true – even your parents. There are hardly 10 percent of people who understand the honesty, and that is not valued. What is valued is the right time, when you’re saying the right thing, in the right occasion, to the right person.
“This is like a procedure: after two years you may get married, so in those two years why are you giving your parents tension? Just let them know that ‘OK we’re friends and be very casual, and don’t even get excited about that topic or something. As a parent I’m telling you, your parents will be very happy. They’ll think, ‘I don’t think she’s ready because she’s very calm about it and all. She doesn’t even touch him, she’s not close to him, she hardly talks to him.’ So they are also happy, but in their mind they know ‘OK she’s seeing this guy.’
“Tomorrow if you come and tell them, when you are a hundred percent sure, they are prepared. But if you tell them everything in the first go and it doesn’t end up working out, then why do you want to go through all that hell with them?”
Ananya:
“I don’t know if I’d be 100 percent honest about a relationship with my mom in the beginning because I wouldn’t want her to get super involved unless its something serious. So I’d see for myself if it was going somewhere. So within the month or something I would tell her ‘I like someone, or I’m kinda’ seeing someone.’”
Mother and daughter. On the same page.
