Sometimes we take change for granted. Progress is an assumption we make of a time we have not yet seen.
Mita married Nick eleven years ago—an Indian girl living in England found a life partner in a sensible, charming British man.
They crossed cultural boundaries at a time when it wasn’t commonplace.
“Initially I don’t think it was easy for my parents,” Mita says. “Mom and Dad had that chat with me about ‘Are you sure he’s the right person?’ Nick was an absolute gentleman and asked my mom and dad if he could marry me. He did it the proper way. And it was only until they were happy that we said, ‘OK, we’ll get engaged.’”
Mita says her parents’ biggest concern was cultural differences, and the realization that the expectation of their daughter marrying a Gujarati boy hadn’t been met.
“There wasn’t so much about what would people think of an Englishman. I think it was more that all parents want the ideal for their son and daughter and I think the ideal would have been a Gujarati guy from somewhere, doesn’t matter what caste, as long as he was Gujarati.”
What helped Mita and Nick in a lucky play of fate was that her brother Raj had decided to marry a Punjabi girl, Shirley.
“Mom and Dad found that more difficult to deal with than having an English son-in-law. Because she’s the daughter-in-law, even though she was Indian, she was Punjabi, and because she’s coming into the family, they found that very difficult, especially my dad. Because my brother was the one and only son, he needed to do the dutiful thing in their eyes.”
