Why these prejudices, despite having married someone from another culture herself?
“Because if my daughter was to marry a Muslim she would have to convert. And that would be very difficult for me to see. And with the Black community, I think it’s just taboo. I’ve got some very good Black friends but culturally they are very different to what we are. And I think I’d have a problem with that.”
Mita does acknowledge that to some extent she may not have control over the person Anya may eventually choose to marry.
“I would have to go with it. You know I can’t really say no because I’ve done something ten years ago that was a bit taboo as well. If he was a genuinely good guy with good credentials, everything that you’d want for in a son-in-law and it was just the fact that he was Black or Muslim, I would have to go with that. I think it would be difficult for me, but I wouldn’t reject her. She’s my one and only.”
Given she holds these expectations, Mita doesn’t necessarily think it’s something she needs to explicitly state to Anya as she gets older.
“I wouldn’t say ‘This is out of bounds’ or ‘That is out of bounds’ or ‘I’d prefer this’ or ‘I’d prefer that.’ No, because I think if I said that then she’d go ahead and do it.”
This is one way that Mita parents differently than her own parents did decades ago.
“I think it’s absolutely different. We never were able to bring boyfriends over. And not that I’d expect my daughter to have causal boyfriends, but I think I will be a lot more open. As long as she’s got her head screwed on and she’s a sensible girl, you’ve just got to go with the flow.”
