While Mita was growing up, it was expected she would marry a Gujarati.
“It was expected he would be the same caste, the same community ideally. I think it was an unsaid thing. You just know.
But I think my mom and dad are now at the stage where they know that if you click mentally, it doesn’t matter who you are. And I think the generations are changing. I think the older generations are coming to terms with the fact that they’ve got little control now.”
Despite this new acceptance, Mita jokes her parents still want the ideal for their grandchild.
“My mom and dad say ‘There’s so many half-half people like Anya that when she’s older she’ll find a half-half person, and I’m thinking ‘Dad, Mom, don’t even go there!’ They want the perfect match for her already!”
Now that Mita is a parent herself, she says she appreciates even more the support her parents gave her at the time she wanted to marry Nick.
“Mom and Dad were very strong considering the circumstances, and don’t forget this was 11 years ago. I admire them for that. If they didn’t stay strong, you know what families are like. They would have dug the knife in.
And don’t get me wrong. I think they probably were hurting a little bit inside without a doubt, but they didn’t show it, which is a very strong thing for them to do.
And I’m going to remember that when Anya comes home with someone I don’t approve of. I’ll have to think, ‘Hold on a minute, what did Mom and Dad do?’ I give them all the credit they’re due.”
Even though Mita holds her daughters to certain expectations she herself was once bound to, it is a sign of hope that she has taken the value of her own parents’ understanding to come to terms with whatever her daughter may one day bring her way.
So a decade may not erase prejudices or move mountains, but if parents can acknowledge their limitations with honesty, it could be the crucial shift for bringing about a greater change.
