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“My parents are upset,” Ananya said, ‘your mother should learn to talk.”
The waves splashed the shore as many tourist couples walked hand-in-hand in front of us. I bet they weren’t discussing the mood swings of their future in-laws.
“Your parents should know how to behave,” I said.
There we are, at one of the most romantic locations in India, having our first marital discord. In an Indian love marriage, by the time everyone gets on board, one wonders if there is any love left.
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“Welcome everyone,” Ananya’s father started, “I’ve never liked giving speech… I know the number one topic all of you have discussed in this party—why is Swami marrying his daughter to a North Indian fellow?…In fact, when Ananya first told us about Krish, we were quite upset. As all Tamilians know, we are so proud of our own culture. We also thought our daughter is one in a million, she will get the best of boys in our own community. Why must she go for a Punjabi boy?”
“We did our best to discourage her. But you know kids of today, they do what they want to do…So why do parents object to this? It is not only about another community. It is the fact your daughter has a boy for herself. We as parents feel disobeyed, left out and disappointed. We bring our children up from babies to adults, how can they ignore us like this? All our frustration comes out in anger. How much we hate love marriages, isn’t it?”
“But we forget that this has happened because your child had love to give to someone in this world. Is that such a bad thing? Where did the child learn to love? From us, after all, the person they loved first is you.”
“Actually, the choice simple. When your child decides to love a new person, you can either see it as a chance to hate some people—the person they choose and their families. Which is what we did for a while. However, you can also see it as a chance to love some more people. And since when did loving more people become a bad thing?”
“Yes, the Tamilian in me is a little disappointed. But the Indian in me is quite happy. And more than anything, the human being in me is happy. After all, we’ve decided to use this opportunity to create more loved ones for ourselves.”
Notes:
¹Bhagat, Chetan. 2 States: the story of my marrage. Rupa & Co. November, 2009.
