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Boys, Lies, & Stereotypes

SAP: And do you listen to them? Do you follow their rules?

Pri: the more they tell me not to do things then the more i wanna go and see what they’re forbidding me from. its like u see everyone else around you with all the freedom and so u feel that its exactly what u want. so despite what your parents said u’ll go do it anyway, and ‘cos they told u not to do so, u wont tell them.

Angel93: they say that they want us to be independent but they have specific things they mean, like freedom with boys doesn’t come under that so if we’re growing up and having boyfriends they don’t like that but they want us to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves

SoNa: doesn’t matter really for me at this age.. that’s my sort of idea… that im just going to do what i want to do and enjoy my childhood and do things that im not meant to ‘cos i know when i grow up all the values that my parents have embedded in me will be more prominent and so in the future i will make decisions that will make a difference

Nish: cos we’re young atm (at the moment) i don’t see a problem with being in a relationship with someone who is black, Muslim etc.. until it starts to get serious

SAP: So you’re more likely to listen to them later when you’re actually in a serious relationship? And for now you don’t mind lying about it?

SoNa: Yes, to be put bluntly. i definitely respect my parents and what they have to say for the man i want to marry will play a integral part in my decision

Angel93: i think that now it’s fine to go out with a Muslim, black or white. i don’t think i wud ever marry one because my parents wouldn’t really want that

SAP: What are some reasons why your parents don’t want you to have boyfriends?

Nish: It’s mainly to do with work, and they don’t want it to distract us. And it’s a lot about what people will think of you.

Pri: Work, religion, and cos we’re girls and our reputation for future marriages and our self respect is at line. Like my brother for example is expected to date!

SoNa: i think for my parents it’s more of a respecting yourself kind of thing. they don’t want it for me in that at a young age we make stupid decisions and immature decisions aside from the fact that we think we are right

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3 Responses to Boys, Lies, & Stereotypes

  1. Sahiba January 11, 2010 at 8:27 am #

    Great insight into the young girls’ lives, and how they think. A must read for parents with teenage daughters!

  2. Lakshmi April 1, 2010 at 8:14 pm #

    I’m a young teenage Indian girl, and I have to say that while I understand where these girls are coming from, there are a lot of us who would never even think of lying to our parents. I told my parents straight when I liked a Muslim Paki boy, and even though they weren’t thrilled, they supported me because I was honest and in the end even though it didn’t work out, they helped me through the whole thing. I personally think that it’s a lot more important to be honest with your parents than to lie to them so that they don’t get disappointed because if you lie to them in the end they’ll just be even more disappointed…

  3. Shipra January 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    I like lakshmi’s idea, children should be honest with their parents.

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