Daddy’s Diaries XVIII
August 19, 2015
It’s new, this ability to see my grandfather as an individual, separate from the fact that he fathered my father. I think it helps that I’ve met the woman whose narrow passageway Dada came out of.
It’s new, this ability to see my grandfather as an individual, separate from the fact that he fathered my father. I think it helps that I’ve met the woman whose narrow passageway Dada came out of.
We judge their ‘close-mindedness’ and vow never to do the same with our own children. But I think my parents are far more open-minded than me.
I am in a relationship that is extremely volatile. It is the most painful test of my pleasure,and I wonder why it doesn’t just betray me in the end.
They say if your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough. But why do we belittle little dreams?
I kept him to myself—not sharing, not saying. It saddened me, but was safer than exposing Daddy to strangers.
They stand as reminders that we have the ability to surprise ourselves. What we’re really looking to be are tourists in our own lives.
Because I wanted to know the thoughts making noise in his head, I asked him: Did you ever do drugs? Would you want to be famous?
Trapped by the confines of a clock, I cheated myself out of the one thing I love most. I worry that this preoccupation with occupation is going to be the death of us.
Wear my name inside your soul, To pick you up if you should fall. It was unusual, I realize now, that a 13-year-old would contemplate such a reality.
He had a full round face and a mischievous grin, which incidentally, just like Santa Claus, gave nothing away.
It used to bother me that my father couldn’t commit to a book. I would never be so disloyal as to begin a new story before ending an old one.
It’s probably not a coincidence that the date of my birth is only six days away from the date of my father’s death.