By Dhara Thakar Meghani
Your daughter just announced she was finally invited to play in a neighborhood kickball match, but she has a big geometry test the next morning she should probably study for instead.
As the responsible parent, what’s your decision?
If you grew up in a traditional South Asian household, you may never have imagined there was a choice between studying and playing—does your child?
One of the most memorable scenes from the 2002 documentary Spellbound¹ shows an Indian immigrant father relentlessly drilling his son to spell scores of words out of a dictionary in preparation for the National Spelling Bee. His behavior was not only humorous for many, but also struck a deep chord for several South Asian viewers.
And while this Indian dad’s strategy of hiring French, Spanish, and German language tutors to bulk up his son’s knowledge of word origins absurdly contrasted with other, less intense parents featured in the film, you couldn’t help but be touched by the valiant effort he put forth to make his son a competitive player in the bee. After all, what would you have done if your child had a chance at $30,000, national recognition, and quite possibly, a paved path to future academic success?
The topic of enrichment, particularly as it pertains to cognitive development and academic achievement, is a hot one concerning parents of children of all ages. New parents search for the latest toy to accelerate their infants and toddlers’ developing neural connections²; parents of older children seek out the highest rated schools, secure private tutors, and enroll children in learning centers to give them an edge over classmates (KUMON anyone?). Is there something wrong with this picture? Not necessarily, except that maybe it’s a bit incomplete.
While enhancing a child’s cognitive capacities is absolutely fundamental to his success, social and emotional skills are just as, if not more, necessary to nurture. Children are social beings and naturally learn a great deal from their surroundings; unfortunately, no textbook is as good a teacher as sheer experience when it comes to learning about emotions, social standards, and ways to have successful relationships within the culture in which you and your child live.
Furthermore, a child’s social and emotional competence is completely intertwined with her ability to increase her academic success. For example, 7-year-old Vinay has a very hard time regulating or soothing himself in class. He gets up from his chair often and wanders to different areas of the room whenever he feels a little antsy.
Every time Vinay gets up, his ability to learn is compromised because he misses parts of Miss Price’s lesson. Of course, this does not mean Vinay will never be a good student, but without a good foundation of social and emotional regulation, it may be a bit harder for him than others. Perhaps there is an important lesson here about children having multiple, balanced opportunities to develop their ‘whole selves.’
So about that kickball game–maybe it won’t do wonders for her geometry skills–or maybe, it will.
Dhara Thakar Meghani came in first place at her elementary school spelling bee and 8th place in the school district, but there were no national bees in her cards. Her father proudly watched from the audience.
Notes:
¹Blitz, J. (Director & Producer). (2002). Spellbound . Los Angeles: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
²Day, N. No Big Deal, but This Researcher’s Theory Explains Everything About How Americans Parent. Retrieved April 23, 2013, from Slate.com
Image originally posted here
