Tips to help you encourage good behaviour in your toddler:
Focus on the positive, not the negative
As parents we focus almost exclusively on unwanted behaviour in our child, and forget to acknowledge their good behaviour. Remember to give your toddler positive feedback when she does something right, or well. For example, it is better to say “I like how you are keeping the table tidy while playing” instead of waiting until she creates a mess to say “Stop making such a mess! Don’t be untidy.”
Try to always give more positive comments than negative ones—as a rough number, say 4 positive things for every 1 negative thing.
Do yourself what you want them to do
You are your child’s best role model, and whether you are aware of it or not, your toddler is constantly learning from your behaviour. What you do is much more important than anything you say. If you want them to speak softly, don’t raise your voice. If you want them to say ‘please’, always remember to say it yourself when you talk to them, or to others.
Become a child
If you really want to get through to your child, kneel down. Reach their level, look them in the eye, and communicate with them. Not only will this make it easier for your toddler to focus and pay attention to you, but it will also make them feel more connected to you, and you to them.
Tell them you understand them
As emotions are one of the hardest things to deal with, toddlers often get out of control when faced with strong feelings. Because they can’t express themselves enough verbally, it will help if you can repeatedly say that you understand their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. “I know you are sad,” “You must be very tired,” “It’s OK, I know that you don’t want to do this,”—reassuring comments like that. If you repeat back to them what they are feeling, it helps to relieve their stress.
Stick to your word
If you make a promise to your toddler, keep it, however insignificant it is. If you promised to take him to the park after he cleans up, take him right away. When you follow through and stick to your word, your child will learn to trust and respect you.
