By Narmin Anwar
There are no books or written rules on how to be the perfect older sibling. While growing up, us older siblings didn’t even realize how our actions would affect the actions of our younger brothers and sisters. And when we finally decide to take on the role of an “older sibling,” we are always at risk of being either too protective, a bad role model, or a hypocrite.
As the oldest in a South Asian American family, our parents have either forced us to speak in English with them so we would not be left out in public schools or we were forced to only speak in our mother-tongue at home in order to not become too “Americanized.” Of course this crazy mix of parenting has resulted in the “American-Born-Confused-Desi” population. The dynamics between these older ABCD children and their younger siblings is a less known subject.
The younger children have watched us older ones make mistakes: dating non-South Asian people, doing drugs, not making straight A’s, etc. And depending on the personalities of these younger brothers and sisters, they have either imitated these mistakes or learned not to make them at all. But unfortunately of course, the younger siblings will also make their own mistakes.
“My sister wants to marry a non-Muslim”
“My baby brother just tried weed”
“My little sister had sex in high school”
