Julie Notto, Program Co-ordinator of Sheena’s Place—a support centre for people affected by eating disorders—talks to South Asian Parent about how eating disorders specifically affect South Asian women.
Our unique struggles
One of the interesting things I’ve seen happen in groups is that people who are from an Italian background and from a South Asian background completely bond on the issue: ‘How do I tell my family?’
‘How do I tell my family and them not feel like it’s their fault, or that they’re completely shamed with me?’ That is a big one.
The other one is ‘How do I adjust from the fact that I’m second generation, my family’s first generation, and I don’t want to eat the traditional family food? I want to eat other stuff to make a shift towards more balanced eating.’
And that is a big thing. ‘I have to go to these family events, and I have to eat this food, and then I’m going to purge it later. How do I not eat it, and also not offend them? How do I make sure I haven’t completely shamed my family by this behaviour?’
The other piece is about dealing with body image. More of the (South Asian) women that have been in my group have been rounder body, more fuller-figured women, and I would never say this to them because it’s really hard for people to hear—they’re gorgeous.
But for them it’s ‘How do I accept that body image? I want to shift my body towards health and balance but how do I do that because that kind of body image isn’t what’s expected in my family of origin or in my cultural background?’
The triggers that trouble us
Triggers cut across culture, and they cut across genders too. Triggers a lot of times will be, and I say this with a lot of hesitation, specifically for the South Asian community, is being second generation and the pressure that’s on the second generation to make it. That is one thing I’ve seen.
There’s also the piece of how to deal with eating the food that I really do like, that’s part of my culture and my family tradition, BUT that I don’t think is healthy.
So how do I eat this food that does not feel safe? We talk a lot about safe foods; what is a safe food? For me as a facilitator, safe food is what you can keep down, not just physically, but what you can keep down emotionally.
So much of their food does not feel safe. So it’s a war inside of them. And the eating disorder voice is a tyrant in this person’s head. “Oh you should totally eat that, you’ve had such a hard day. You deserve a break”. Then: “I can’t believe you ate that. You fat pig. You’re disgusting. You better go run ten miles or you better go to the drug store and get laxatives now!”
So there’s that pressure to eat certain kind of foods that are related to my family and my family’s culture, and there’s certain types of celebrations that I need to go to that revolve around food—it’s just torture for that person.
The solutions we seek
So what I can say in my experience at Sheena’s place…the yoga groups for sure attract a slightly more diverse clientele than maybe say the average support group. The other one is the expressive arts group, because you don’t have to talk.
But any of those techniques can be a way in—acupuncture, yoga, meditation—that’s definitely an in for the South Asian community.
The important thing to ask is, ‘What’s the road back to self care?’ What’s the road that reminds you of your self worth?
A lot of the South Asian women have come in and talked about that and felt a sense of relief. ‘OK I’m in a place where I can actually talk about it.’
And that just turns the volume down on the stress; it turns the volume down on the shame, and the isolation. And slowly, we’re not talking immediate results here; slowly it starts to turn the volume down on the self-harm and the behaviours.
