My day began at 7:30 am. By 1:30 pm, I had negotiated deals for work, made plans for the next two weekends, flirted with my latest crush, debated philanthropy in the developing world, and bought groceries.
Yet I hadn’t uttered a single word. Let alone made any physical human interaction. In fact, I hadn’t even left my desk.
I had simply emailed, instant messaged, tweeted, and Facebook-ed. Verbs that didn’t exist a few years ago. Modern technology at its finest. And worst.
It’s no secret that one of the first things to do when you have a new love interest is go home, and Google or Facebook him. This form of harmless ‘stalking’ has become as common as using LOL, though few will admit it!
How does this affect the makings of a modern Desi relationship?
“I fell in love with my wife over BBM.” (Ping!)
Farhan had a demanding work schedule and found little time to date, despite wanting to. His career was at a critical stage when beautiful Maira came along, and he knew she was something special. He believes it was only because they were able to converse almost all day long through Blackberry Messenger that he could keep their relationship alive until things eased up at work and he was able to shower Maira with the attention she deserved. “I got the promotion at work and I got to know her innermost thoughts. No one can ever speak ill of Blackberries to me.”
Berry heartwarming!
“I kept seeing her photos in my friends’ photo albums and knew she was the one long before I actually met her.” (Poke!)
Deepak never admitted it but when he first met Piya, he already knew her interests and who her friends were. “I know you have to meet a person to have an instant attraction, but seeing photos of her smile, I developed a crush on her long before actually meeting her.”
Was this love at first click?
“I couldn’t believe how much she thought like me. I just knew I had to do more than follow her online.” (Tweet!)
Nitin, an opinionated media journalist, couldn’t believe how insightful Sanjana’s tweets were. “If a girl could impress me repeatedly in less than 140 characters, I had to meet her. I direct messaged her, and pretty soon we met up for coffee.” They have now been dating for over a year, though he does say: “It’s still definitely weird to admit we met online, especially over Twitter. It’s not quite the romantic story I want to tell my kids!”
Now not everyone has a modern-tech happily ever after story (where’s mine?!) but looking back on recent dating years, I’ve realized it’s definitely a sign of the times that a guy can have a girl’s BBM pin, email or Facebook before getting her phone number.
Sometimes a girl can’t help but think, “I wish he would just call.”
There is also a darker side to the online world. Sahiba found her boyfriend was chatting with several girls online, pretending to be single. “It’s every person’s fear. Being behind an electronic screen gives people the comfort to justify actions they might not necessarily have the courage to do in person.”
As more and more singles consider the vast world of online dating, I wonder just how much we are already depending on non-physical communication. And is it any more or less ‘real’?
As with many opinions I had as a teenager, I’m not sure I feel as strongly against online dating as I once did. While I would still much prefer to meet someone the FIRST time in person, I cannot discount that more than half the ‘dating process’ has now become non-physical communication.
It’s quite a generation gap when I consider that my parents only had a few hours of supervised talks before being married two months later. Hitesh, whose Mom had been pressuring him to consider the rishtaas (proposals) coming his way, found solace in modern technology. “I agreed to be introduced via email and speak over the phone instead of meeting them right away. It just felt less invasive.”
No, dear readers, I have not yet rushed to open a shaadi.com account. But I won’t say never ever… because if Mr. Right can woo me by adding me, pinging me, poking me, following me – who am I to fight the romance in modern technology?
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The author is a single Indian woman in her late 20’s who has lived in many cities around the world. She hopes her experiences and thoughts will help bridge the generational gap between South Asian parents and children worldwide. ‘No Sex in the City’ is inspired by the popular TV show ‘Sex and the City’ which captured the attention of diverse viewers across the globe.
